He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
