She announced her abortion via fbk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
