My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
