I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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