matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
