You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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