So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
