you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
