Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
