he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
