i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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