Only a mothe r could love this liver
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Even my vagina gasped.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
