Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize