it wasn't lemon gatorade
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
