girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
