Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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