just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to cum in my sink.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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