i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
