Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
