can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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