She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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