Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
