Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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