the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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