Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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