its not stalking. its research.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
