curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
