So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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