I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize