Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
