am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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