i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
