i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize