i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
