just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
