oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
