Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
