...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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