hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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