told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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