Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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