so that wasnt chicken after all
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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