dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
