Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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