Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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