I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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