just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
