i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
