I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
