i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
