I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Enjoy the penises
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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