Your face is a jimmy john
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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