hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
