just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
