you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
