a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
