If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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