Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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