okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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