How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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